Oysters

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."

 - Stephan Hoeller -

Stained Glass Windows

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only by the light from within."

~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Good Things to Come

No matter what your religious beliefs are, this video has a good message about trusting God.



For some reason I can't get the video to fit exactly here on the blog, so if you want, you can also click here to view it:
Good Things to Come

Don't give up. Don't quit. No matter what, keep your faith strong in what you believe in.

Adversity and Liberty Jail

I promise... this really does deal with depression and trials....just bear with me.

About a year ago I was sitting in Relief Society listening to a lesson about the Prophet Joseph Smith and his arrest and detainment in Liberty Jail in 1838-1839.  (Relief Society is the women's gospel class taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints).   Because you may not be familiar with the story of Liberty Jail, I will give a brief summary.

The lesson that day was titled "God Shall Be With You Forever and Ever": The Prophet in Liberty Jail.

Liberty Jail was probably the worst prison that Joseph Smith ever was confined to. The material in the lesson was a good summary of the conditions in which he lived. 

As a life-long member of my church, I am familiar with the conditions of Liberty Jail, and I am very familiar with this story. Most of the women who attend my Relief Society are also very familiar with this. I wondered how our teacher was going to make this interesting and enlightening. I knew that would be a difficult task, and I was grateful it was not I who had to teach the lesson!  She took the time to remind us of the conditions of Liberty Jail, which I will also do.

The Prophet described their situation: “We are kept under a strong guard, night and day, in a prison of double walls and doors, proscribed in our liberty of conscience. Our food is scant, uniform, and coarse; we have not the privilege of cooking for ourselves; we have been compelled to sleep on the floor with straw, and not blankets sufficient to keep us warm; and when we have a fire, we are obliged to have almost a constant smoke. The Judges have gravely told us from time to time that they knew we were innocent, and ought to be liberated, but they dare not administer the law unto us, for fear of the mob.”

The room was not tall enough to allow the men to stand upright, and Alexander McRae, one of the prisoners, said the food was “very coarse, and so filthy that we could not eat it until we were driven to it by hunger.”

Mercy Fielding Thompson, a Church member who visited the brethren in the jail, later wrote: “It would be beyond my power to describe my feelings when we were admitted into the jail by the keeper and the door was locked behind us. We could not help feeling a sense of horror on realizing that we were locked up in that dark and dismal den, fit only for criminals of the deepest dye; but there we beheld Joseph, the Prophet—the man chosen of God, in the dispensation of the fullness of time to hold the keys of His kingdom on the earth, with power to bind and to loose as God should direct—confined in a loathsome prison for no other cause or reason than that he claimed to be inspired of God to establish His church among men.”

Our teacher went on to discuss how the conditions were so awful that even the Prophet, a man who had seen God Himself and Jesus Christ in the flesh would cry out:

“O God! where art Thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth Thy hiding place? How long shall Thy hand be stayed, and Thine eye, yea Thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens, the wrongs of Thy people, and of Thy servants, and Thy ear be penetrated with their cries?  

“Yea, O Lord, how long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before Thine heart shall be softened towards them, and Thy bowels be moved with compassion towards them?" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:1-3)

At this point, our teacher paused and she said, "Sisters, I know that most of you are very familiar with the story of Liberty Jail and I don't want this to become a history lesson. Instead, I want you to take a minute and think about this question."  She said, "Please don't answer aloud. Just think about it."

Then she asked: "What in your life has been your own personal Liberty Jail?"

For me, this was a very poignant question. I felt tears in my eyes. I didn't even hesitate with my answer. It came to my mind immediately. Without question, my own personal Liberty Jail has been dealing with Sven's illness and depression. It's not Sven. It's the illness. I love Sven. I would also say that this illness is Sven's personal Liberty Jail as well. 

Depression SUCKS. I hate it. There are days when I truly feel imprisoned by it. I know that Sven does, too. In fact, I am certain it is so much worse for him than it is for me. I feel so helpless. I wish I could break him out of prison, you know? There have been long drawn-out prayers with gasping sobs, pleading for God to free him from this trial, pleading for God to tell me how to help him.  There have been moments of deep despair in my life when I have simply told God that I can't do it anymore. I have no more strength to go on. I truly don't see where in my body & soul I am going to find one more ounce of courage to face this.

But I took immense strength from this lesson.  God teaches us a great lesson about adversity through His answers to Joseph Smith:

“… My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.” [Doctrine & Covenants 121:7–8.]

Peace.

Peace be unto thy soul.  Thine afflictions shall be but a small moment. I reflect often on those words. Peace be unto thy soul. I have felt that peace, but sometimes I forget. I forget because I get into the middle of an argument with Sven or he refuses help or to talk to me or to get out of bed. I forget the peace. I forget to have faith. I struggle in these times  - immensely. But then God sends me an answer that I wasn't expecting, an answer like I got in Relief Society on a Sunday in a simple lesson about Liberty Jail in 1838. It was a lesson that I didn't think would be all that interesting. To be honest, I didn't think I would come away learning much that I hadn't heard before.  I wasn't very humble, was I?

So now I ask you. You don't have to answer, just think about it. (Though you can comment anonymously if you want to. It really does help me to hear I'm not alone). What in your life has brought you to your knees, begging for help, wondering why you have this trial? Why is God allowing this to happen? What has made you cry out 'How long, O Lord?'

God is there. He is listening. He will help you. I know that to be true. Sometimes it seems as though He has forgotten you. Sometimes you don't feel peace. Sometimes you do. My faith has always tried to be that I know He is there, even if it feels like He's not. I'm still going to talk to Him. I'm still going to cry and tell Him what's going on with me. I'm still going to ask for His help, even when it feels like I don't deserve it or like I'm not getting a response.

I figure that way, I've got my bases covered, right? ;)

(To see pictures of Liberty Jail, click here.  They are copyrighted).

When My Prayers Seem Unanswered

Last week I found this talk titled: "When My Prayers Seem Unanswered".   It was really uplifting for me and put some things into perspective that I needed to reconsider.  Much of this talk focuses on the beliefs of the members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, though others may enjoy it as well.  It is not specifically about depression or caregiving, but I think that if someone feels their prayers are unanswered, they might be more susceptible to depression or feeling "blue", so that is why I am posting about this.

To save the MP3 for listening on your iPod or MP3 player:
1. Click on the blue "Download" button,  and look for "Audio" under the drop-down menu.
2. Right click on the "Audio" tab.
3. Click "Save Target As" and save it to your computer. (I have a folder on my desktop that is titled "MP3". That way I know where to find them every time.)
4. Copy the file to your MP3 player or your iPod. 

To import to iTunes:
After completing steps 1-3 above, do the following:
1. Open iTunes and click "File" in the upper left-hand corner.
2. From the drop-down menu, select "Add File to Library".
3. Select your MP3 from its saved location on your computer and add it to your iTunes library.
4. Look under "Recently Added" under your Playlists and then you can select it and sync it to your iPod.