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Quiet or "Acting-In" Borderlines and the Silent Treatment
"There is nothing fair or reasonable, healthy or appropriate about the silent treatment. It is abusive. Even if one needs time or space, one can surely say that and take responsibility for that. For the quiet borderline, the "acting in" borderline, in his or her passive-aggressive style of pulling and manipulating for control, the silent treatment is the ultimate abdication of personal responsibility.
Not only is the quiet borderline abdicating his or her responsibility to respect you, the non borderline, but he or she is also holding you hostage to it while blaming you for it."
The Silent Treatment
"When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is - other than physical abuse.
The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control children and partners into doing what you want them to do. It is a withdrawal of approval, and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this."
The Silent Treatment: When Your Partner Acts As If You Don't Exist
"...perhaps, in your relationship, he ignores you for days, weeks, or months... all of the time barely looking at you, barely speaking to you. If you ask him what is wrong, he ignores you or tells you curtly that everything is 'fine'. But he is jolly, pleasant, even kind to others.. to a waitress, to a coworker, to a child. Yes, he may be playing with your child, talking sweetly to him, while you, Mom, stand nearby and he barely looks at you. If you ask him something, his face is locked into a cold stare. His eyes are cold. There is no love, no affection anywhere in his face."
"Receiving the silent treatment is a sign that emotional abuse is at play in a relationship. There may seem to be an actual reason for the silence, or the abuser might be considered delicate by loved ones. When bad feelings are provoked by the silence to meet the quiet person's needs, this act is still a form of abuse."
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